I don’t remember a lot. I don’t remember most stories that are recounted to me. But I often times pretend as if I do remember them. Why? Because I can’t seem to grasp why I would loose something of such magnitude but one of my friends remember it like it was yesterday. However, I do remember select bits of of my childhood. And I could recount them as if they just happened.
I remember a lot from when I lived in Ohio. I remember the streets, I remember the people, and I remember the feelings. If you’re reading this as an army brat, you might get it more than anyone. You remember all of the states you moved to and you remember a few things from each, but there’s probably one state that strikes you as home.
Which one is it?
I stumbled upon a Spotify playlist from an old friend in middle school and it brought back all the Ohio memories. It was like I was back in Chestnut Hill facilitating mini triathlons in the neighborhood and trying to talk to Nate Foley behind my parents back. I pictured my lilac bedroom and my little dog, Zoey, my mom got me on a whim. I see 12 red roses and 1 of the 12 are fake fake with the note “I will love you until the last one dies”. I see my littlest, but truly biggest, sister walk down the winding carpet stairs with a swollen face from some obscure reaction. I look back and see popsicles in our outdoor fridge and neighborhood kids seeking them out. I remember the worlds kindest heart, Lauren Cocca, shouting out “the last melon” in the trunk of my mom’s yukon XXL before basketball practice.
When I see Ohio, I see everything. After Ohio it’s just a bit more blurry for me.
Did I love college? Yeah, I had these unforgettable friends like Amy, Smash, Courtney, and Ben. I could quickly name more. Did I love NYC? Oh NYC is my sanctuary. I met people like Sara, Amanda, and Jen.
I just wish I could have had the stability I had in Ohio so I could process life. I lost that stability and with that I lost a sense of self, but amazing people across the US didn’t think less of me.
I hope all of you have an Ohio. And if you lose that Ohio, I know you’re strong enough to pivot.
Thank you, world