Forewarning this blogpost is “wordy” so I will prompt you: there will be some R rated content 🙂 I just love writing….
Okay, so its 2017 and you’re dating THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. You’ve been dating for like a year so obviously you’re gonna get married, duhhh. I mean month 2 and your Pinterest is already filled with diamonds, future home images, and everything else that is normal because you’re in love…lols. Then you’re like wait… is this person really for me?
You’re a 20 something who pretends that detox tea will magically rid your body of last nights Domino’s. Blogs say it works, right??
Anyway…. back to the boy. He’s “all about the boys” and doesn’t seem to understand why Halo Top protein yumminess & vegan dessert hummus gets you through episodes of “This is Us”. You and “the boys” can climb in bed and watch with me, really. But he would rather play fantasy football and then hang out AFTER. yeah bye boy.
So, you’re kinda stuck.
You really like this guy. Honestly you’re kinda obsessed with him. Drop everything and just go sit on the couch with him and the guys. Insert heart eyes emoji. But he doesn’t give you the attention you deserve. You try to explain this to him, but it’s like talking to a man from Timbuktu who hasn’t heard of the English language. And this gets exhausting.
Like you’d rather run 2 back to back marathons than have these conversations anymore kinda exhausting.
You don’t want to end the relationship, but you know its what you need to do. You talk to ALL of your friends, your mom, and your two dogs about it. You even stop by Petsmart to see what advice the parakeet has to offer (this is how much you don’t want to break up with him…)
But you do it. Your friends are like HELL YEAH GIRL. FEMINISM. Taylor Swift comes on instantly. And you’re like YEAH IM NEVER TALKING TO HIM AGAIN!!!
And you try really hard to not think about him or text him and every hour seems to lag by…. THX TECHNOLOGY (lets go back pre-AOL plz). You think to yourself, “is he going to text me???” Don’t lie, you’re kind of torturing yourself– I’ve been there!!
Then you just end up sending him a picture of pickles because you ate a pickle together once and that’s sentimental.
Your friends say “so have you talked to him since you broke up?” You’re supposed to say “fuck no” because #youdontneednoman.
Here’s my point— girls, this just isn’t realistic.
Fuck what society and social media says. Fuck “expectations”.
Like Demi says, “just give your heart a break”. If you want to send him a pic of pickles, MORE POWER TO YOU. Eventually you won’t care enough to waste your phone storage on that crap. I like to compare it to smoking cigarettes. It’s extremely difficult to just quit cold turkey. It’s okay to ween yourself off of something (if it was a safe relationship). I mean c’mon you talked to this guy everyday for X amount of months or years. It’s what you were used to. Just cut yourself some slack and don’t beat yourself up if you text him a couple times. Or drunk text him. And don’t lie to your friends… have more confidence than that. That will help you move on.
Time heals all. But try not to beat yourself up because everything happens for a reason. I strongly believe in this motto.
Turn off the T Swift and put on some damn Lady Gaga because that’s a bad bitch if I ever knew one.
If he somehow magically matures and it’s a healthier relationship and you want to give it another shot, don’t feel like you can’t! DO IT!!!! You can literally do whatever the hell you want. However, if that’s not in the cards, eventually you will move on 🙂
And it’s okay to be wrong! That’s how you learn.
So, move to NYC, Paris, or mid Missouri and live your life like the hot mother fucking piece of ass you are. Drink a Natty Light.
Just be happy. Whatever happiness means to you, because THAT is what is important.
Life is short. XOXO