Be gentle with yourself,
you’re doing the best you can.
Here is a blog post about how no one can do everything. It’s in my DNA to think I’m some indestructible human twenty year old version of Superwoman. But I’m not. No one is. Lately I catch myself staring out the window watching the sun rise while I stand on the metro on my way to school. I see the sun rising and I immediately think business. This is a new thing with me- the relation between the sun and business. These random business thoughts lead me to think about my future business plans and my future business plans lead me to think of my family and my family leads me to think about my siblings specifically and those thoughts lead me to a pencil and pen.
My pen and mind start working together to start scribbling down things that swarm around in my head. Sure the abundance of thoughts is nice here and there, but sometimes it’s just too much. Too many fish in one little sea. I start to bit my nails and then I chew at the skin surrounding my nails. Next thing I know there’s nothing left to bite and my friends are swatting at my hands yelling, “stop that adds!”
I stop, for a second, and look down at my paper full of notes and thoughts scribbled in pink ink. Goals and aspirations cover the looseleaf paper. But I’m not Superwoman. I’d have to be crazy to think I can do everything I just wrote down.
- Adopt a dog this summer
- Win a noble peace prize/ something similar
- Open my business
- Help as many people as I can
- Get certified in yoga this summer
- Join the peace cors
Can I do all of this in one lifetime? I really don’t know. I do know, however, that I am overwhelmed. I want to accomplish so much. But I also love sitting by the river by myself with a glass of wine in my right hand staring at the calm movement of the water. A slight breeze runs through my hair and the sun starts to set (goodbye business thoughts). If I sit too long though, I feel like I should of been doing something more productive. Taking more notes, reading more books, blogging about new adventures, talking to friends, learning more Spanish. But maybe sitting by the river in peace is accomplishing something. Doing something for myself can accomplish something.. something for me. I struggle with this. I am constantly trying to please everyone. My friends, family, employers, strangers, literally everyone. It’s going to take time, but I want to learn to understand that it is impossible to make everyone happy. My way of life right now in regards to these thoughts is a recipe for a lifetime of stress and frustration.
Learning to take a breath and doing things for yourself is underrated.
On the topic of changing, or not changing… who honestly really knows, I have noticed something different about myself lately. I cannot stand involving myself in heated topics. Rape. Marriage. Cheating. Politics. Gossip.
I stop talking when I sense tension. Even when I am educated on the topic, I tend to lean the other way and take myself out of the conversation. That’s a new Addison that I have never seen before. I don’t know whether I like it or whether it scares me. I think a little bit of both. What do you think?
I live a certain way where I always look for a positive in everything. If I don’t like someone I force myself to say one good thing about them, because no one is a bad person. I truly believe no one is a bad person, rather people just do bad things. I wanted to point this out because I think it relates to why I always try to please everyone. I’m just sitting in my bed typing and rambling, trying to elucidate my life and behavior patterns. Hey, I guess my psych major is paying off a little!
One day, I hope I learn that I cannot help and please everyone and some days I need someone to help me. To listen to what’s on my mind. So thank you @amandilebron for being an amazing friend and being here when I need some of my stress and thoughts to leave my head. WordPress, you rock too.
None of us are Superwoman and there is already a God. So, take a break and do something that makes you happy. Unwind. All in all, I hope and believe I can accomplish my goals. I have a lot of them and that’s not a bad thing. A bad thing is believing the key to success is pleasing everyone.
Always always find something to be happy about
even when you’re sorta sad
Mi nuevo amigo de espana me hizo este logo. Me gusta mucho mucho mucho. Si me conoces, sabes por qué. Estoy alegre
[My new Spanish friend made me this logo. I like it a lot. If you know me, you know why. I am happy.]